Ouch!

Thanks to Maudie and BG, I am currently re-evaluating why I blog, why I play poker, and why I am on this planet.

In case you haven't read what they have said, here it is in part from Maudie's blog "Creation" post:

"[...] that is why I fully understand where BG is coming from when he says:

Blogs are such an immediate and personal art form that to see mediocrity continue to pop up is disheartening. And it's got to be doubly frustrating for people like Pauly, Iggy, and Hank (among others) who have dedicated their time, energy, and thoughts to creating unique and engaging content, only to see uninspiring poker blogs continue to pop up at every turn, looking for a piece of these guys somewhere along the way."

Again from Maudie:

"I'm also happy to oblige requests for link-ups, but I'll tell you, more than a couple of recent requests are already languishing with thin content and lack of posts. If you have recently started or are contemplating starting a blog, ask yourself why? And if the answer is "to be a part of the group" - then rethink it. If you are motivated to write because you feel you have something to write about - go for it."

Why I Blog.

I don't exactly know.

I think it mostly serves as a relief valve for some of the frustrations I have had lately. And at some point I will delineate them further. At times these frustrations are more acute than others. Of course this kind of posting tends to be shorter and choppier. Not what I would call good or even adequate writing. And probably not much better reading.

Part of it is a curiosity, in that I want to see if I can write anything worth reading. (20 to 50 hits a week says NO at this point.)

Part is that I want to get better as a writer. I am not naturally drawn to writing down thoughts and ideas. Mostly what I have written in the last 15 or so years has been procedures, instructions, and reports. I am finding that I want to do more NF or Fiction type writing now. I have a couple of book and play ideas running around in the back of my head. At some point I would like to be at least minimally proficient enough to attempt them. So in part this blog is an attempt to hone my skills.

A small part of it is wanting to connect with people. I don't think it goes as far as "to be part of the group". It is nice to be able to "talk" with people about common interests. I live in a rural area. An area I where I did not grow up. It is a very clannish area, meaning that unless "your grandparents" were born there, it is very hard to talk with people. Plus, most of the time I am taking care of my wife and children. (Although it can be argued that my 2 and 4 year olds can handle conversations and their behavior better than quite a few people I have seen on Party Poker .5/1 tables)

Why I play.

I don't exactly know.

I have always been intrigued by computers and probability. (See this post.)

I played a bit of five card draw in college, but never really gave it enough time or energy to get good at it.

Playing online is another relief valve. I don't take my frustration to the table, but I do leave some of it there.

I would, at some, point like to be able to give this game the time I need to give it. I believe I can become a good player. (Once I become a good player I will revise that.) It is interesting to see how badly some people play (myself included.) It is kind of like watching a train wreck in slow motion. You hope it won't happen. You know it will happen. You know how it will happen. And still, you can't keep yourself from looking away.

Why Am I On This Planet.

I haven't got a handle on this one yet.

But I do intend on sticking around well past the time I figure this one out. That is, if I ever figure this one out.



Please feel free to leave any comments or tips for improving this blog. You can also email me.

Thank you to the three people that actually show up here expecting something.

Thank you Maudie and BG (I guess now I will have to start reading BG on a regular basis) for making me think. My volume of posts may not increase greatly for the foreseeable future, but hopefully my "thin content" will thicken up a bit.

Now if only I could catch up on my important reading...